Saturday, December 30, 2006


I was at a stop today and they had the news on. Suddenly the "lady " of the house let out an ear-piercing shriek, and the walls of the living room vibrated with the echo. Apparantly, Michael Jordan is getting a divorce and this was definately the most important item of news today in that house. I thought, "if you think that's entertaining, I know about these things called books..."; what I said was, "I didn't know he was married". I never really thought about it one way or another. I guess I could have assumed that he was probably married, but it never occurred to me. I think only the husband heard me say that, because the woman was off on a rant. Somehow the topic changed and she said, and this is as close to a direct quote as my aged and abused memory cells are capable of, "And now theyr'e cloning our food! Thats whats making everybody so fat!"
Luckily for me, the rant was aimed at no one in particular, so a response from me was not required. Had it been, I think I might have stuttered a bit. I challenge, nay I double dare, anyone reading this to give me one good reason why cloning chickens is wrong. And by "good reason" I don't mean "because its wrong", nor do I mean "because god doesn't like it". Extra points if you explain how this makes you fat. You have been eating cloned foods for years, but now thanks to fear-mongering Fox, it's a big deal. It's OK if Monsanto grows fish-berries, but you're scared of cloning.
Didn't you ever wonder why all those strawberries are identical? Do you know what a clone is? If you've ever made a cutting off of your favorite rose bush, or tried to get roots on a piece of houseplant by sticking it in water, then you have willingly sold your soul for all eternity to Satan by participating in that unholy ritual of science, cloning. Fusking Luddites, talk about a knee-jerk reaction. I can almost read thier thoughts "umm, thats science, right? Scientist want kill babies. And Scientist call me monkey. Science bad." Well, I could rant about this for a long time, but instead I'm going to hurry. Much the same as I how hurried and got done at that stop. As I was leaving the lady said "have a blessed new year" and by the way she pronounced "Bless Ed" suddenly it all became clear to me. I didn't want to, but I had to say "you too".

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