Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Bush Regime memorial

Did you see the tea-baggers with the "Obama-as-Hitler" signs. If you have the misfortune to to be trapped into conversing with one of these creatures, try not to smile too much when you realize that they see no irony in this. You won't be able to get them to see the irony no matter how you try, so don't even bring it up. If does come up however, be prepared to respond to this:
"you guys called Bush a nazi, Now it's our turn."
See how he trapped you like that? That's why I told you not to bring it up. Now what are you going to say to him? "But that was different!"
Indeed it was different, but your bewildered friend there has been drinking Reagan-flavored Kool-aid for so long that you'll never get him to see that. Some people are beyond reach.
Instead, do what I do. Say to him or her, "I never compared Bush to Hitler. He wasn't even in the same league with Hitler." Then tell them this joke:
"Q. What's the difference between Bush and Pinochet?
A. One destroyed his middle class, tortured people, and told the poor to go to hell. The other was the dictator of Chile."

He probably won't laugh. Nevertheless, I believe it to be one helluva good joke. Because, you see Pinochet was the dictator of Chile and Bush.. oh, never mind. If you gotta explain these jokes, then you lose the comedic timing.
Seriously though, don't even argue with these people. It does no good and it legitimizes their point of view. It's why scientists don't debate with UFO abductees or creationists. There are not two sides to EVERY issue, especially when one side is completely wacko.
Besides as these people become less rational, they become more violent. It's not worth risking injury to make a point to someone who won't acknowledge that you made a point.
Instead, use your time more wisely and go home and prepare for the coming class war. Only it won't be a class war; the corporate media will spin it into a race war. The rich people can hire people who are smarter than us and know how to shift public opinion. Do you really think the owners of the air-waves will allow a revolt against their incestuous hegemony? They will have the red-necks and the brown people killing each other in the streets quicker than you can say "Gulf of Tonkin" if it means they get off the hook. And who do you think is going to be stuck in the middle? Me and you. The remnants of the former middle class. Whose side will you be on? Better ask which side will allow you to join. The skin-heads think people like you are the cause of their problems, and you're not brown enough to move to the hood. You will feel like the only guy in jail that gets a Kosher meal. Let's see, who else can you befriend to help get through this trying time? I know! Wealthy people! So as the klan and the krips are killing each other in the street, you should mosey on down to your nearest gated community and tell the armed guard there that you want to be friends with all the nice people inside. Besides your hungry and scared. I'm sure those nice people inside will swing the gates wide open and yell "Hallelujah! The prodigal son doth return!"
Oh how they will greet you. While the different varieties of poor people are out there killing each other, your new friends will throw a feast in your honor.
Or the guard just might kick the shit out of you and not even hear as you moan "but I voted for Ron Paul and always bought BP gas," as the gate creaks shut.
In closing I will leave you with another joke. Perhaps it will act as one of those zen koan things and bring enlightenment, but I won't hold my breath. Okay, here's the joke.
The dictators from history were finding it a bit boring in the afterlife so they decided to have a peek at some warfare. One track minds, I guess. So Gengis Khan says "Hey guys! Check out the Middle East!"
Chairman Mao said "Look at those American weapons! If I had had those, I could have wiped the nationalists out of existence!"
Hitler said "Look at those American soldiers! If the Wermacht was that highly trained all of Europe would be speaking German!"
Napoleon said "If I had Fox News the French people would have never heard of Moscow."

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