Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Penn and Teller in 08

(see video above for Mike Huckabee in action)

Riddle: What is the difference between Americans and Germans?
Answer: After our depression, we elected FDR.

I hope everyone that reads this blog votes in the Presidential primaries. Even if you never agree with anything I say, I know that, if you're still here, you must have half a brain. Idiots would just open the page, watch part of a video, and go away or make an ignorant comment with three mis-spellings; but you're still here, reading, so you must care about what people are thinking.

It seems as though the candidates have been chosen already before a vote has even been cast. I'm not a gambling man, but I would put money on it that Fox "News" already has a logo made that says, "Rudy vs Hillary: Rumble In The Bronx".

We have a pretty decent line-up of candidates on both sides; the Dems have Edwards, Biden, Kucinich, Obama and Gravell- the GOP has.., well, the GOP has Ron Paul. Ron Paul is the kind of candidate who makes you long for a viable third party. I personally agree with very little of his policies, but I can tell that he's honest, straight forward, and loves his country enough to admit that we could be doing better. We could do a lot worse than him (and we probably will). It's easy to just wave a flag, but it takes guts to work for some real change. Almost every Republican you talk to says they are going to vote for Ron Paul. Yup, everybody likes Ron Paul, so how do I know that he won't be the chosen nominee? Money. The Corporate media acts like if you support him, you must be some kind of fringe looney. How many times does he get called on during a debate? The "pundits" are trying to convince you that he's un-electable. Ask yourself why Pat Robertson (PAT FUCKING ROBERTSON, of all people) would endorse a cross-dressing, pro-choice, married 3 times, mobster who was once a room-mate with a GAY PERSON. The answer is because he knows which side his bread is buttered on. The Corporate whores want to convince you that he doesn't have a chance. They want you to think that you would be wasting your vote like all those people who voted for Ross Perot and Ralph Nader.

Everything good I just said about Ron Paul can also be said about Dennis Kucinich. No Democratic candidate deserves a chance to be heard more than him. He is a man who loves his country and he knows what its like to be poor. Even if you know nothing about him, realize this: the people who don't want you to join their country-club all hate him. Maybe that will give you some incentive to do a little research. Listen to the ad hominem attacks from people like Druggie Limbaugh. Somebody actually got paid (five times more than you) to dig through his closet and look for skeletons. The only thing they could come up with is that Shirley Maclain thinks he saw a UFO. Giuliani wishes that was only skeleton in his closet. They even have the temerity to call him "far left wing". Far left compared to Karl Rove maybe, but I tell you, if you think Hillary is left of center, then you haven't even seen "far left wing".
If elected, President Kucinich would be hailed as the new FDR. And you know what? We're gonna need a new FDR when the bill for this war comes due. For the better part of four decades Soviet missiles were pointed at our major cities, but now a band of fanatics hiding in the desert has us so scared we will spend Trillions (TRillions) of dollars and give up our precious heritage of civil rights for an illusion of "security".
In summary, I'm going to beg you to please vote your conscience in the primaries. It might not do any good, but at least we will have the right to complain. I would be a happy man full of pride in my country if it came down to Paul vs Kucinich in 2008, but I'm tired of voting for the lesser of two evils: in the general election, I will not vote for either Hillary or Rudy. I'm going to write in "Penn and Teller". They might not want the job, but I know they would do a good job with the best interests of the USA in mind. Being a politician should be like being in the Army: a duty to be done well until you can go home. Being the President is the hardest job in the world, if you're doing it right. Nobody in his right mind would want that job if he didn't love his country, unless he's hungry for power. Remember, it's not that power corrupts; it's that power attracts the corruptable.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

NEWS FLASH! Speedway Doesn't Have Cappuccino

Today a study found that the retail gasoline giant Speedway is decieving the public by serving what it claims to be cappuccino. Allegedly Speedway is buying some sort of instant "cappuccino" mix and supplying it to caffiene junkies through an automatic dispenser. (Real cappuccino is actually espresso coffee topped with frothy steamed milk, not coffee flavored cocoa.) Soccer-cow and republican lard-ass Tanita Sims was quoted as saying, "Ah Lahk cappy-chino." To find out more, we asked a local barrista if they encountered any difficulties. The barrista, who chose to remain anonymous, said, "About once or twice a week some over-paid idiot will come in, order a cappuccino, and demand their money back when they find out it doesn't have vanilla-hazelnut flavoring and copious amounts of sugar. Money can buy love, but it can't buy class." Speedway was unavailable for comment.

This one is NSFW!!!!!!!

This one is NSF anywhere!


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