The Pre-Game Show

Alternative Medicine That Actually Works

2011-03-12T06:54:00.003+06:00

Due to the rising costs of health-care, many people are looking into "alternative medicine". With an unemployment rate of 9% (closer to 16% if you include the people who have given up looking for work and the under-employed)it's no wonder many are looking for home remedies. I've heard stories of people using pet medicine because it's cheaper. I wouldn't recommend that course of action unless you've had some college level chemistry, although I suppose you could call it "alternative".
Health care costs are still rising and thanks to free trade any new jobs we do create are likely to be low-wage service industry jobs resulting in fewer trips to the doctor, thus raising costs again. If the Republicans are able to bust the unions like they want there will be even fewer patients for the doctors so they will have to raise the prices even more. Not that the Doctors give a shit anyway; higher prices plus fewer patients equals more golf. When I was a young idealist I thought that doctors and teachers were the most noble professions because they help people. I still think teachers are noble because they do it for a LOT less money than doctors. Now I think Doctors are for the most part spoiled rich kids who disguise their greed with patriotism. Being patriotic implies concern for your fellow country-men; I wish I knew how greed became a virtue.
Enough ranting; here is the list of Alternative Medicine That Actually Works. Anything not on this list has either not been proved to work or been proved not to work.
1. Herbal medicine
Some herbs actually do have pharmacological properties, but they can be variable in quality. Most of the good ones are well known and available over the counter. Before you try herbs you should do research first, but be careful. There is a lot of misinformation out there. Also remember that anything you ingest is changed by the digestion process. That's why things like rhino horn and bear bile could never work even if they had the claimed properties. In other words, eating dolphin brains won't make you smarter.
2. Maggots
If you get a massive infection and have no money for the doctor you could get gangrene. If you do, don't kill the maggots. They will eat the dead flesh and may keep the infection from spreading. Letting them live will actually increase your chances of survival. Kill the maggots and without medical science you could die too.
Well, that's about it. Accupuncture works as well as a placebo; chiropractic is glorified massage. If you can't get to a doctor you are fucked. Tough luck Charlie, that's the American Way. What are you, unpatriotic?

Ending the Recession in One Easy Step

2010-09-11T08:55:00.003+06:00

So we all know the US has a huge National Debt, right? I've heard all kinds of hypotheses and elaborate schemes to bring back prosperity, but the simplest plan is always the best. All we need to do is arrest the pope and set the bail at 3 trillion. I'm sure the Vatican could come up with it (though they might have to pawn a couple of golden thrones). Then we could collectively apologize to Sinead O'Connor.

Bush Regime memorial

2010-05-25T07:14:00.003+06:00

Did you see the tea-baggers with the "Obama-as-Hitler" signs. If you have the misfortune to to be trapped into conversing with one of these creatures, try not to smile too much when you realize that they see no irony in this. You won't be able to get them to see the irony no matter how you try, so don't even bring it up. If does come up however, be prepared to respond to this:
"you guys called Bush a nazi, Now it's our turn."
See how he trapped you like that? That's why I told you not to bring it up. Now what are you going to say to him? "But that was different!"
Feeble.
Indeed it was different, but your bewildered friend there has been drinking Reagan-flavored Kool-aid for so long that you'll never get him to see that. Some people are beyond reach.
Instead, do what I do. Say to him or her, "I never compared Bush to Hitler. He wasn't even in the same league with Hitler." Then tell them this joke:
"Q. What's the difference between Bush and Pinochet?
A. One destroyed his middle class, tortured people, and told the poor to go to hell. The other was the dictator of Chile."

He probably won't laugh. Nevertheless, I believe it to be one helluva good joke. Because, you see Pinochet was the dictator of Chile and Bush.. oh, never mind. If you gotta explain these jokes, then you lose the comedic timing.
Seriously though, don't even argue with these people. It does no good and it legitimizes their point of view. It's why scientists don't debate with UFO abductees or creationists. There are not two sides to EVERY issue, especially when one side is completely wacko.
Besides as these people become less rational, they become more violent. It's not worth risking injury to make a point to someone who won't acknowledge that you made a point.
Instead, use your time more wisely and go home and prepare for the coming class war. Only it won't be a class war; the corporate media will spin it into a race war. The rich people can hire people who are smarter than us and know how to shift public opinion. Do you really think the owners of the air-waves will allow a revolt against their incestuous hegemony? They will have the red-necks and the brown people killing each other in the streets quicker than you can say "Gulf of Tonkin" if it means they get off the hook. And who do you think is going to be stuck in the middle? Me and you. The remnants of the former middle class. Whose side will you be on? Better ask which side will allow you to join. The skin-heads think people like you are the cause of their problems, and you're not brown enough to move to the hood. You will feel like the only guy in jail that gets a Kosher meal. Let's see, who else can you befriend to help get through this trying time? I know! Wealthy people! So as the klan and the krips are killing each other in the street, you should mosey on down to your nearest gated community and tell the armed guard there that you want to be friends with all the nice people inside. Besides your hungry and scared. I'm sure those nice people inside will swing the gates wide open and yell "Hallelujah! The prodigal son doth return!"
Oh how they will greet you. While the different varieties of poor people are out there killing each other, your new friends will throw a feast in your honor.
Or the guard just might kick the shit out of you and not even hear as you moan "but I voted for Ron Paul and always bought BP gas," as the gate creaks shut.
In closing I will leave you with another joke. Perhaps it will act as one of those zen koan things and bring enlightenment, but I won't hold my breath. Okay, here's the joke.
The dictators from history were finding it a bit boring in the afterlife so they decided to have a peek at some warfare. One track minds, I guess. So Gengis Khan says "Hey guys! Check out the Middle East!"
Chairman Mao said "Look at those American weapons! If I had had those, I could have wiped the nationalists out of existence!"
Hitler said "Look at those American soldiers! If the Wermacht was that highly trained all of Europe would be speaking German!"
Napoleon said "If I had Fox News the French people would have never heard of Moscow."

10 reasons

2009-08-13T09:18:00.004+06:00

P Z was front page for about five minutes at ABC News, so he's been getting some curious people looking around. On this comment thread, everyone is listing 10 reasons to be an atheist; so here's mine...

1. The dark ages. If it wasn't for religion we would have an almost 1,000 year head start in science and technology. All the problems we have now could have been solved by now and we would be living in a peaceful, sustainable land.

2. Men wrote the bible. I'm sure some of the stories in it are based on things that may have happened, but bear so little resemblance that they can only be used as clues to figure out the real story. How can you expect a text that is nearly prehistoric to be without error?

3. There is no evidence. Unlike most Jesus-Junkies, my mind CAN be changed. All it would take is some evidence. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

4. Any subject that needs something called "apologetics" to justify its existence is suspect from the start.

5. Most Christians are ass-holes. I drive a lot and more often than not, when someone is driving like a selfish bastard, they will have a plastic fish on the bumper. Pro-tip: Being self-centered is often indistinguishable from being stupid.

6. Religion encourages racism. 40,000 members of the KKK have been ministers.

7. There is no such thing as "super-natural". If something exists, it is either natural or artificial.
8. Why are there so few placental mammals in Australia? Only evolution can account for that.

9. Religion is a vector for toxic memes.

10. God feels he has to destroy humans every so often when they become too wicked. Why does he feel he need to be melodramatic with the fire and floods human sacrifice? If he can do anything, couldn't he just suck the blood out of evil people one at a time? That would be a cool story.

Happy Fourth, America

2009-07-05T07:04:00.002+06:00

America feels happier this year (well, except for some people *roll eyes*). Heres some stuff you would have learned in school if you were paying attention.

Abbey quotes
A restored letter
The Thoreau Reader

Music

2009-06-15T03:19:00.007+06:00

I don't listen to much music anymore because most of it's crap, but here are some songs I reccomend. I guarantee you will find something you like. Go get something to ingest; you might be here a while. Sorry you gotta cut and paste, but there were too many to embed them all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMsJi9WzhX8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Roq9S8-UVTs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbWRfBZY-ng

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3BFOcjAtI0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmM15bY6fsM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKEZoY-TMG4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB_htqDCP-s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkRbthnW3sY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZarcTTRUHoU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv5XtChhzZA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnsRoaKNqnc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGaIaSJa630

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mS0iwib14vA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-Dg3QMfWgQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoqVxjBvZAs

Christian Love

2009-05-31T23:34:00.009+06:00

The following is an actual message I recieved on my Youtube channel from a religious person who is apparently upset that I am an Atheist.

"Die painfully okay? Prefearbly by getting crushed to death in a
garbage compactor, by getting your face cut to ribbons with a
pocketknife, your head cracked open with a baseball bat, your stomach
sliced open and your entrails spilled out, and your eyeballs ripped
out of their sockets. Fucking bitch

I would love to kick you hard in the face, breaking it. Then I'd cut
your stomach open with a chainsaw, exposing your intestines. Then I'd
cut your windpipe in two with a boxcutter. Then I'd tie you to the
back of a pickup truck, and drag you, until your useless fucking
corpse was torn to a million fucking useless, bloody, and gory pieces.

Hopefully you'll get what's coming to you. Fucking bitch

I really hope that you get curb-stomped. It'd be hilarious to see you
begging for help, and then someone stomps on the back of your head,
leaving you to die in horrible, agonizing pain. *beep*"

I sent him a friend invite and gave him my address and told him how much I look forward to meeting him. What would Jesus do?

Dear SUV driver

2009-05-31T09:52:00.003+06:00

I'm terribly sorry I got to the stop sign at the same time as you. If you were there one second earlier, it would have been your turn, but by a cruel twist of fate I was on your right. I know it must have seemed so unfair to you that I got to go first even though your vehicle is more expensive than mine. I hope it didn't interupt your important phone call. P.S. You got served by a car thats older than your mother and still gets better gas mileage than your Stupid Useless Vehicle.

Chuck Norris Sucks

2009-03-15T01:21:00.003+06:00

Seriously if this isn't un-American, then I must be missing something. Not only did Chuck Norris pick a lame martial art that was a Korean copy of a Japanese copy of an Okinawan style that was itself a copy of a Chinese peasants style, he also picked the lamest political philosophy ever. I mean, if they think secession is patriotic, then maybe we should just let them leave. They need us more than we need them, thats for sure. And just how far would Texas get without the rest of the states? They would come crying back in no time, begging to be forgiven, just like the whiny little babies they are. English does not have a word to describe how utterly disgusted this kind of inflammatory rhetoric is making me.

I don't know what to do about this increasing unhinged-ness from the right, but I think I know the cause. You see, most republicans are out of touch with reality. That's not just a cliche; if the only place you get your news is from Fox or World Nut Daily, and you never encounter poor people in your day-to-day activities, it's easy to believe that America is some sort of Leave It To Beaver rerun.

Did you ever get cut off by an ass-hole in an SUV who can't be bothered to use a turn signal? It's a symptom of the same illness. He really didn't notice you, anymore than he noticed the homeless guy with the crayon scribbled sign that was standing in the street. To him, his phone call really was more important than other peoples safety. It's called Cognitive Dissonance; it's why they think that the way to fight Islamist extremism is to become a Christianist extremist. It's why NRA members can think free guns would be good but free health care would be bad. It's why they get mad when you tell them that Benedict Arnold was a conservative and Jesus was a liberal. These things challenge their subjective image of reality.

I don't think there is anything you or I can do help this generation other than to keep blogging and voting, but hopefully these virulent Memes will die out of their own accord like a virus that kills its host too quickly. Then one day we can teach our boys that being a man doesn't depend on subduing things and teach our girls that being a woman doesn't depend on popping out babies.

Science is the Answer

2009-02-09T11:34:00.009+06:00

I stumbled across a news item that I would have thought would have garnered a bit more attention from the fear-mongering corporate media. In December of 2007 a woman from Colorado was diagnosed with Marburg hemorrhagic fever. It's called a Filovirus, like Ebola, and can be spread by contact with the bodily fluids of infected people. It's so bad it's considered a potential bio-weapon. It's icky; I'm glad no-one else caught it.

For some reason she had to go to Uganda. She was probably one of those wacky missionaries sent there to tell the natives how praying works better than condoms. Either that or she's the trophy wife* of an overpaid Bankster who only went there as a status symbol. She was probably a blonde, too, because she had to go in the python cave where the bats that are the most likely vector of Marburg live. Now I wouldn't mind going to Africa myself, but if I do, I'm not going into a python cave. I'm sure it's not called the python cave because of all the cuddly bunnies running around. She's lucky all she got was Marburg. Wouldn't it be ironic if she was an anti-vaxer?

But that's not the point; The point is that it took the CDC over a year to confirm that it was in fact Marburg. After suffering through the anti-science administration we've had for the last eight years, I'm not surprised. At least now we have a President that knows that Science is important. Let's just hope he doesn't cave in to the religious wing-nuts (cave, get it?).

At least there are still people who take their science seriously out in the field. Some would say that it was a miracle that no-one else was infected, but lets give credit where it's due. Marburg is pretty nasty and it wasn't prayer that stopped a potential "hot zone". It was the brave doctors and nurses and lab techs at Lutheran Medical Center and the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment who worked with the CDC to minimize the risks to anyone who may have come into contact with the patient. They are unsung heroes. I also heard a rumor that there was some old guy dressed in black who was mumbling over some beads, but he didn't do anything usefull.

Unfortunately the United States isn't the clear leader in high-tech research it once was. I blame that luddite, Ronald Reagan and all the gullible lemmings who followed him over the cliff of voodoo economics. Stealing our thunder, the Human Virology Department of the Ecoles normales supérieures in Lyons, France are at the forefront of research into Filoviruses. A team lead by Prof V Volchkov are figuring out what makes this stuff tick. They clone the virus from cDNA and then engineer mutations in it's genome. Different mutations affect different proteins and this way they will find out the role of specific proteins in pathogenicity of the virus. Once the replication of the virus and the synthesis of proteins is understood, vaccines and therapeutic tools against Filoviruses can be developed. Or they could just go to church and listen to some charlatan tell them how the god of Bronze Age goat-herders is still somehow relevant and how Jesus wants tax cuts for the wealthy.

*don't get mad at me for using a misogynistic stereotype. Do something to change it.

Happy Birthday Darwin!

2009-02-02T07:53:00.001+06:00

Why am I posting an episode of Star Trek in Honor of Darwins Birthday? I guess you'll have to watch it to find out. The episode doesn't allow embedding, so click through and find part one.This one of he best episodes, not just of Voyager, but in all of the Roddenberry universe.

A Message to Liberals

2008-04-13T21:24:00.008+06:00

Many people think I'm a liberal just because I'm not a conservative. Things are rarely so black and white. The truth of the matter is that there are issues upon which I do have somewhat conservative views. The fact that I've never voted for a member of the Giant Oil Party has more to do with the fact of thier inherant dishonesty and corruption more than some rigid adherance to a particular world view. Call me a liberal if you want; I won't feel insulted. Nor should anyone else. Somehow the corporate propaganda machine of this country has turned this unthreatening word into an epithet. Rail against it all you want, it won't change the fact that the United States was founded as a liberal democracy. Of course I now expect ad hominem attacks from people who have no position from which to debate. I believe subconsciously the conservatives know they are wrong, but they can't bear the thought of being wrong. Rather than debating in a civilized manner, the only thing they can do is insult people. If they could step back for moment and take look at objective reality, they would neccesarily agree that they have been wrong all along. They can't do this because they are scared. This is the fundamental difference between conservatives and rational people. The world, by neccesity, is changing and the conservatives don't like it one bit. It terrifies them that the comfort they so enjoy may in fact be a fleeting thing that they didn't deserve in the first place. For a good portion of the twentieth century there were nuclear missiles pointed at our major cities, but now they want everybody to be so scared of some arabs hiding in caves that we will gladly give up our rights as Americans. They can't stand on thier own two feet and say why they believe what they believe. All they can do is parrot what some stupid pundit says and then pat each other on the back for it. If someone should point out a flaw in their reasoning they cry "Your attacking me!" Poor widdle neo-cons. It's not enough that they now control most of the media, they need constant reinforcement to sustain the hypocrisy. Youtube has atheists on it so they make Godtube. Wikipedia can be edited by anybody, so they create Conservapedia. They protest the fictional movie The DaVinci Code, but they flock to The Passion even though it totally perverts the message of Jesus. Now the boring idiot Ben Stien's new movie, Expelled, is coming out because they can't admit they lost the battle against scientific progress one hundred fifty years ago. Science is fine when it makes labor saving devices or weapons, but look out if it dares to challenge long-held superstitions.
My point is that conservatives are really just big sissies. Liberals are mostly nice guys, but the bullies see this as a weakness to be exploited. Stop being nice to these jerks; they do not deserve it. I know some of them might be your friends, but try a simple expirement. Ask your conservative friend how he can believe in an invisible man in the sky for which there is no evidence, but he can't believe in climate change when even the oil companies won't deny it. I guarantee his first response will be an insult or personal attack. Brush that aside, and press the issue. His next response will be dissembling or obfuscation. Don't give up. Shortly he will be cowering in the corner sucking his thumb and saying "I thought you were my friend." It may seem unkind but maybe this way you can actually get through to them. We've tried everything else. I know it's a cliche but it's true; they can dish it out, but they can't take it.

Bush Appointee Helps Troops!

2008-03-09T03:56:00.003+06:00

In an attempt to save face after her humiliating defeat by Lenny from Laverne and Shirley on the game show Jeopardy, Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings appeared today on the popular NPR news quiz Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me. A regular feature of the show has celebraties call in and answer questions to win a prize for a listener. The long time Bush-crony, who has turned a blind eye to corruption and conflicts of interest in the student loan industry, was playing for Air Force Major Bob Munsen, currently stationed in Iraq. Luckily the godless liberals on the show cared enough about our troops to bend the rules a tad, and after some prompting and hints, Miss Spellings was finally able to answer two of the three questions. I hope Major Munsen enjoys Carl Kasell's voice on his home answering machine. It's too bad he didn't win enough to afford to send his kids to the same private school that Secretary Spellings sends hers to.

After haranguing PBS CEO Pat Mitchell over the Buster the Bunny scandal until she had to resign, it's a wonder that NPR didn't tell the humorless hypocrite to take a flying leap. But then she holds the future of funding for the least biased radio network in the country in her grubby little texan claws, doesn't she?

Semi-Annual Game and Links Post

2008-01-24T09:06:00.000+06:00

More games than you'll ever need here--
experimental gameplay
French guy making a Diode/Transistor by hand
Poor mans Katamari
This game appears to be an ad for the band that does the music. I paricularly like the song on level 3 (of course thats only because I didn't get to 4 yet). This new genre of "Steam-punk" is the only exciting thing in music right now. It started out from sci-fi novels, but now includes everything from music to sculpture. Another band that has it's shit together is Abney Park.

Be prepared to waste some time with this game

Family Wants Answers

2007-12-28T08:54:00.000+06:00

So we all heard about the guy that got killed by the tiger, right? The family wants answers. Do you suppose they really want answers, or do they just want to find out if they have grounds to sue? If you tease a tiger, you might deserve it. I'm sorry, but I don't have much pity for the human race. Back in the Pleistocene, humans wiped out the megafauna. We never got a chance to scientifically describe the habits and ecology of the large mammals. That was the opening shot of the sixth great extinction event. I can forgive the ignorant Cro-Magnon; they didn't know any better. Closer to our time, humans finished off that giant pigeon relative, the Dodo. I guess I can forgive them too. They were only marginally more informed than their cave dwelling ancestors, but I would still like to go back in time and chastise them a bit. I look back in anger and disbelief at the extiction of the Passenger Pigeon. I hang my head in shame at we've done to Hawaii. The theme here that as we grow more knowledgable as a race we have less of an excuse to allow this sort of thing to happen. In my own life-time, I wept when I learned of the extinction of the Chinese River Dolphin, and curse the greed which keeps the majority of people in the world poor, thus offering them no choices other than "it was me or him."
These days there is a lot of complacency; people have cell-phones and SUVs so when greedy feudalists spout anti-science non-sense, thats exactly what we want to hear. "Oh, it's not our fault," we say, "Extinction is part of the natural process. So go ahead and fill your tank and turn that rain forest into tooth-picks. Besides, Jesus will be back soon and make everything all better."
Do me a favor and please pull your head out of your ass right now. I'm not gonna tell you about the Eskimos that had to invent a new word because they had never seen Robins before. I could mention hurricanes in Sweden(look it up). I could tell you that malaria will make it to Chicago before the killer bees will, but I won't. Im' not a scientist so why sould you listen to me. I will just tell you what I know for a fact.
I heard a frog yesterday... In Gary,Indiana... The day after Christmas.
As angry as you must certainly be able to tell that I am, your grandchildren will be even angrier at YOU! Maybe you don't care a whit about a stupid fish in some far-off lake, but surely you must care about what kind of legacy you are leaving your kids. I chose not to have kids because I could see what kind of world is coming. If I'm getting through to you, you might be thinking the same thing right now. War for oil? Give me a break. Wait until it's war for water. You think the fifty states can stay together through that? That'll make the south rise again, for sure. Shit, California will pray for an earthquake just take their minds off it.

Penn and Teller in 08

2007-11-20T02:52:00.000+06:00

(see video above for Mike Huckabee in action)

Riddle: What is the difference between Americans and Germans?
Answer: After our depression, we elected FDR.

I hope everyone that reads this blog votes in the Presidential primaries. Even if you never agree with anything I say, I know that, if you're still here, you must have half a brain. Idiots would just open the page, watch part of a video, and go away or make an ignorant comment with three mis-spellings; but you're still here, reading, so you must care about what people are thinking.

It seems as though the candidates have been chosen already before a vote has even been cast. I'm not a gambling man, but I would put money on it that Fox "News" already has a logo made that says, "Rudy vs Hillary: Rumble In The Bronx".

We have a pretty decent line-up of candidates on both sides; the Dems have Edwards, Biden, Kucinich, Obama and Gravell- the GOP has.., well, the GOP has Ron Paul. Ron Paul is the kind of candidate who makes you long for a viable third party. I personally agree with very little of his policies, but I can tell that he's honest, straight forward, and loves his country enough to admit that we could be doing better. We could do a lot worse than him (and we probably will). It's easy to just wave a flag, but it takes guts to work for some real change. Almost every Republican you talk to says they are going to vote for Ron Paul. Yup, everybody likes Ron Paul, so how do I know that he won't be the chosen nominee? Money. The Corporate media acts like if you support him, you must be some kind of fringe looney. How many times does he get called on during a debate? The "pundits" are trying to convince you that he's un-electable. Ask yourself why Pat Robertson (PAT FUCKING ROBERTSON, of all people) would endorse a cross-dressing, pro-choice, married 3 times, mobster who was once a room-mate with a GAY PERSON. The answer is because he knows which side his bread is buttered on. The Corporate whores want to convince you that he doesn't have a chance. They want you to think that you would be wasting your vote like all those people who voted for Ross Perot and Ralph Nader.

Everything good I just said about Ron Paul can also be said about Dennis Kucinich. No Democratic candidate deserves a chance to be heard more than him. He is a man who loves his country and he knows what its like to be poor. Even if you know nothing about him, realize this: the people who don't want you to join their country-club all hate him. Maybe that will give you some incentive to do a little research. Listen to the ad hominem attacks from people like Druggie Limbaugh. Somebody actually got paid (five times more than you) to dig through his closet and look for skeletons. The only thing they could come up with is that Shirley Maclain thinks he saw a UFO. Giuliani wishes that was only skeleton in his closet. They even have the temerity to call him "far left wing". Far left compared to Karl Rove maybe, but I tell you, if you think Hillary is left of center, then you haven't even seen "far left wing".
If elected, President Kucinich would be hailed as the new FDR. And you know what? We're gonna need a new FDR when the bill for this war comes due. For the better part of four decades Soviet missiles were pointed at our major cities, but now a band of fanatics hiding in the desert has us so scared we will spend Trillions (TRillions) of dollars and give up our precious heritage of civil rights for an illusion of "security".
In summary, I'm going to beg you to please vote your conscience in the primaries. It might not do any good, but at least we will have the right to complain. I would be a happy man full of pride in my country if it came down to Paul vs Kucinich in 2008, but I'm tired of voting for the lesser of two evils: in the general election, I will not vote for either Hillary or Rudy. I'm going to write in "Penn and Teller". They might not want the job, but I know they would do a good job with the best interests of the USA in mind. Being a politician should be like being in the Army: a duty to be done well until you can go home. Being the President is the hardest job in the world, if you're doing it right. Nobody in his right mind would want that job if he didn't love his country, unless he's hungry for power. Remember, it's not that power corrupts; it's that power attracts the corruptable.

NEWS FLASH! Speedway Doesn't Have Cappuccino

2007-11-10T18:57:00.000+06:00

Today a study found that the retail gasoline giant Speedway is decieving the public by serving what it claims to be cappuccino. Allegedly Speedway is buying some sort of instant "cappuccino" mix and supplying it to caffiene junkies through an automatic dispenser. (Real cappuccino is actually espresso coffee topped with frothy steamed milk, not coffee flavored cocoa.) Soccer-cow and republican lard-ass Tanita Sims was quoted as saying, "Ah Lahk cappy-chino." To find out more, we asked a local barrista if they encountered any difficulties. The barrista, who chose to remain anonymous, said, "About once or twice a week some over-paid idiot will come in, order a cappuccino, and demand their money back when they find out it doesn't have vanilla-hazelnut flavoring and copious amounts of sugar. Money can buy love, but it can't buy class." Speedway was unavailable for comment.

This one is NSFW!!!!!!!

This one is NSF anywhere!

NSF ID?

We don't have an illegal immigrant problem

2007-09-26T06:15:00.000+06:00

We have an illegal employer problem.

So perhaps you've been waiting patiently for me to finish this post and all I ever do is disappoint. Well, I was going to post a short list of some of the businesses I know that hire illegal immigrants, but I was advised that that might not be the wisest thing to do. Primarily, the reason being that often it's difficult to tell an illegal from a legal, and one can't accuse a company of VIOLATING FEDERAL LAW without some proof. Some illegals have been here for years and they tend to blend in a little better (some of them even speak ENGLISH!).
I used to be a chef but I had to switch careers at the age of 40. I was
good at it and I enjoyed it but I no longer fitted in (no habla
espanol).
Now I'm doing something else and making about 30 grand a year(kids, go to college). Today I was at a stop and I tried to ask a question of the cleaning lady. She spoke no
english so of course I wondered if she was legal. Sometimes you can
tell and sometimes you can't. Anyway, we both finished at about the
same time and I hopped into my beat-up truck and she got into a brand
new SUV. If someone tells you that they take jobs we don't want to do, it is a lie. If she gets paid enough to afford a new SUV I would love her job (of course I would never buy a gas-guzzling status symbol). They have
networks that help each other find the UN-PATRIOTIC employers who care more about profit than their country; these greedy bastards even help them find phony social security numbers and cheat on urine tests. It would be easy for me to be bitter, but I don't blame the immigrants; it's our fault the third world is in the condition its in because we've been exploiting them for centuries. Maybe we deserve to lose lucrative career opurtunities. But the corporations DON'T deserve to make record profits while the people(of, for, and by whom this country was created)go without health-care or nutritious food. To reiterate; WE DON'T HAVE AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION PROBLEM, WE HAVE AN ILLEGAL EMPLOYER PROBLEM.
The only way we can get our government to start enforcing the laws we
already have is through CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM. As long as the
lobbiests and SIGs have the Pols in there pockets, things will never
change. The GOPs say they want to build a wall, the Dems say they want
to give amnesty. They are just saying what they think we want to hear.
Neither side mentions the fact that if the mojados can't get jobs THEY WILL GO HOME ON THEIR OWN. No need for massive deportation or fences to no-where; just don't give your money to companies that hire illegals. If you call a landscape company to cut your grass, make sure they go by the book. Otherwise, YOU are part of the problem. In fact the Dimocrats and the Grand Oil Party are on the same side of this issue, even though they appear different superficially. Big
business likes cheap labor, and corruptable politicians like big-business.
The chinese have a saying, "To find a straight pole, look deep in the
forest. To find an honest politician, look to the common man." How can
the common man ever get to power the way the system is today? Are we a nation of people or a nation of corporations? Are we a nation of laws or a nation of profit? Vote your conscience and vote with your dollars.

Home of the brave

2007-05-04T04:30:00.001+06:00

People always seem to be afraid of the wrong things. In California they are terrified of the Brown Recluse spider. NEWS FLASH! The Brown Recluse spider does not live in California. In Texas they have many Brown Recluses, but for some reason they don't seem to fear them all that much. Instead they fear God, who incidently doesn't live in Texas.
Some people fear crime so much, that they move into those gated communities. If I had the money for a house that big, I wouldn't waste it on a house that big. They don't seem to be afraid of ruining the economy, or else they wouldn't hire all those illegal mexican landscapers and maids. Well I heard a rumour that in one of the gated communities around here a woman was trapped in her own house for 23 hours and repeatedly raped by her illegal alien gardener. The next day the rest of the landscape crew showed up and he went back to work like nothing ever happened. At the end of the day they all left together and he probably never will get caught. Seems that the gated community became a prison for her.
OK, thats a rumour; I don't know if it's true or not and frankly I can't be arsed to find out one way or another. But this is, I swear to god, absolutely true. After the recall with the pet food I heard someone say that they thought it was terrorists who poisoned fluffy's kibble. What better way to strike terror into the hearts of god fearing americans than to give kidney failure to a Shi-tzu. OOOH, maybe that bad spinach last year was AlQaeda. Now that I think about it, wasn't there an outbreak of food-borne illness at Jack-in-the-box a few years ago? Yea and who was President at the time? CLINTON! I knew it was his fault!
"OK", I hear you ask, "what should we be afraid of?" If I was a bully I would be afraid of creating another school shooter, but thats not what I'm talking about.
You should be afraid of AIDS. I know, you're a god-fearing monogamous heterosexual. Why should you fear AIDS? Chances are neither one of us will actually contract HIV, but millions more will. And in those millions of immuno-suppressed people other types of pathogens are trading genes and multiplying. To a virus, genes are like beanie babies, and HIV carriers are like eBay. Maybe you don't believe in evolution, but no matter how hard you believe, Tinkerbell won't come back to life, and evolution won't stop.
I'm somewhat curious to find out what the next big tragedy will be. If I had to put money on it, I wouldn't bet on terrorists or tsunamis. No, my moneys on a world-wide pandemic. So you think because you live in America you'll be safe. You have health insurance. LOL
It's not like the old days. Doctors don't go to school to help people. They go for the money. We used to have men like Joe McCormick, formerly of the CDC, who would go into a hot zone and do everything they could to stop an epidemic. Where are these 'disease cowboys' now? Pushing pencils in Atlanta and going home to their gated communities. "Sorry, can't come to work today. I have a sniffle."
So, Dr. Pencilpusher, is the security at your gated community good enough to keep out an emergent pathogen? I suspect not, but it might just trap you inside.

A Plethora of Links

2007-05-03T05:37:00.000+06:00

Well isn't it just your lucky day. I have way too many bookmarks and its slowing down my browser. So I'm going to put a bunch up here so I can find them
Some guy named Al
A japanese flash artist
The Economists
Origami Boulder
How to modify your car to run on alcohol
A guide to the orders of trilobites
Yagyu Shingan-ryu Taijutsu
A good link page
VIN decoder
Study Korean
Alcohol fuel
mudskippers and gobies
Metafilter
Funeral Quest
flash earth
Michael Leunig
miniscule
Hammer of Truth
Japanese dictionary
Cock-eyed
Toomuchcoffee Man
games
catnip radio
Error FM
Heredity
Botanical Nomenclature
Hudson Seeds
Virtual Priesthood
RIAA Radar
Send them back!
UNITED ARTWORKS
Evil GOP Bastards
Church of reality
The Mars Times
Organ Keeper
Discordianism
Transparent Language
The best page in the Universe
EFF Corpwatch
decent comic
another
t shirts
Media ownership
The Hacker Crackdown
when christ was gay
Rover V8 BBS
infowarrior
rooting out evil
do unto others
renegade hybrids
gizmology
science madness
plant fossils
tsukamaki
chinese smith
science blog
The Gospel of Thomas
another version of Thomas
The Jefferson Bible another comic
booiks
blog
books
webcams
video
pesticides
south park
madame talbot
wondermark]
yamada guides
botany
blog
fixflash
Can you tell I'm getting tired?
haha.nu
radioo.net
normal bob smith
J tv
pistolwimp
podcast.net
point of inquiry
reeling silk
The End (I wish)
scams_and_rip_offs
air america radio true majority
aluminumv8.com
Jefferson Bible
Physics for future Presidents
bio control
bugmenot Advertising Secrets I Learned from the Kirby Vacuum Cleaner Man
evil atheist conspiracy
eyezmaze
orisinal
one who is almighty
ex pat
kuro5hin
mykeru
open learning
ayumix
play dao
powers of 10
programmers heaven
stoutknives
tam-lin
Thats it for now, check back later.

Villian or Victim?

2007-04-20T06:52:00.000+06:00

This video is long but good

I'm not certain if any of you are regular readers of this blog, seeing as how nobody ever comments, but if you are a regular reader, there is likely one of two reasons. Either you like the unusual links that only I seem to able to come up with, or you like to hear my unpopular opinions. Well, this time I have what will probably be an extremely unpopular opinion.
I'm positive that everyone reading this has heard about what happened in Virginia. There was truly no way escape hearing about it. It's even bigger news than the custody battle over Anna Nicole-Smiths baby. Hundreds of people die every day in Iraq so that you can drive your SUV, but when it happens here, thats news.
A really sad aspect of this tragedy is the fact that everyone talking about it sees it as an oportunity to put forward their personal agenda.
The conservatives say "if I was there with my gun, this never would have happened". Yea, you're so brave; thats why you got your rich daddy to pull strings so you didn't have to go to Viet Nam. You fucking chicken hawks. Assuming you didn't shit your pants, what do you think would happen when the cops got there and saw you with your gun out? Yea, more guns; that'll solve everything. Idiots.
The liberals blame it on guns. Did you watch that video? I know it's long but it's worth it for the ending. If Cho Seung-Hui didn't have a gun he could have had a knife or a sword or hell even a pair of scissors. WTF, he was a college student for christsake. I bet he could've come up with a dandy bomb.
The christians want to ban offensive music lyrics. I'm sure this guy just went crazy because he heard Chamillionaire on the radio. I know that shit drives me crazy. They forget this guy was christian, not a buddhist or whatever. I bet they think it would be great to just get rid of that darned constitution and run the country based on Bronze Age myths. You're right. This kind of thing probably wouldn't have happened in Saudi Arabia.
I'm here to tell you that you're all full of shit. I've not heard one person or punditoid come up with a solution that would actually work to prevent further incidents of this type.
It is likely that psychosis is caused by a combination of hereditary and other factors. Every organism has a genotype and a phenotype. The genotype is the genes you get from your parents. An organisms heredity says what traits the organism will posess depending upon what environment it lives in. How those genes are expressed in a particular environment is the phenotype. In other words, Cho Seung-Hui's psychosis may have never been expressed in his phenotype had his environment not brought it out.
So they pick on him his whole life because he was small, not wealthy and he talked funny, and then everyone is so surprised when he goes off. Well, I'm surprised. I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often. I know what it's like to be a small, poor kid in a school full of rich jocks. When I was in high school I won't deny that I had some violent revenge fantasies. If you were picked on, you probably did too. Now that I'm middle aged I'm content to know that those who made my youth miserable are fat couch potatos stuck in un-loving marriages, while I'm still in great shape and hanging around with strippers.
I'm not totally heartless; I have some sympathy for the students. Just not much. They always got everything they wanted and never had to deal with the real world. Perhaps if they would have been a little nicer to the guy and not so concerned about who has the nicest cell phone, this might not have happened. Perhaps if one of the stuck-up brats gave him a little pussy, he wouldn't have been so high-strung.
So, permit me to spell out for you. To prevent more incidents:
1. stop being superficial. Just because someones parents couldn't afford braces does not mean they are a piece of shit.
2. stop being stuck-up. Realize that in the grand scheme of things your piddly little problems don't mean much.
3. Stop being rude. America is known around the world as the country with the least manners. Just because you drive an armoured luxury tank is no reason not to use your turn signals
4. If your child is being picked on, or if your child is doing the picking, talk with them. Don't wait for TV or sunday school or the school nurse to do your job. You wanted a damn kid, now deal with the resposibility that entails.

Another game post

2007-03-19T08:34:00.000+06:00

This one has already claimed several hours of my life. So far my best is 67 (my buddy says he got to 77); I hear the author of the game got to 90. http://www.candystand.com/play.do?id=17995

Things like this are why I don't watch TV. That, plus TV is mostly pretty lame. As for Netflix, if anybody has a radio ad that annoying they aren't getting my money. http://www.1up.com/do/feature?pager.offset=0&cId=3156339

The following contains scenes of extreme violence and should not be viewed by younger or more sensitive viewers (or anyone really) http://dollidol.com/ImOK/download.html

Some of you might think this game is boring, but if you have a tabbed browser (I recommend Opera) you can do something else at the same time.

This isn't exactly a game, but it's still pretty cool. The biomorphs are a little hard to see at first, but they get bigger as you go on.

Great New Album for FREE!

2007-02-25T05:03:00.000+06:00

Here's a little preview. The whole album is here--
http://www.timfite.com/otcc_download.html

Speaking of new music (well, new for me) I just discovered Leonard Cohen. Maybe I'm getting old, but I really like music that has erudite lyrics and intelligible vocals. For the first time since I signed up to ebay, I bought a major label release that wasn't used. Viacom and Sony and the others suck bad. They complain they can't make any money, but they put out tons of crap. Then they want to sue us if we want a free preview to make sure we're not getting ripped off yet again. To repeat: buy used music from ebay or your local music store. In fact, forget ebay; just support the little guy in your neighborhood.

Still no comments?

2007-02-22T07:21:00.000+06:00

Mac on The Fog Of War Get this one quick before its gone.

Ancient chinese siege engines. I want a Zhuge crossbow.

Real Battle field video from Chinese army in 1984. Read the comments, too.

Why does no-one remember The Tubes

2007-02-20T08:56:00.000+06:00

I think they are rather memorable.

To my religious brethren and cistern

2007-02-15T05:11:00.000+06:00

This post will be a little different from my previous posts, because it was divinely inspired. The Lord appeared unto me as one walking down a great stairway from on high. With him he had a hippy and that little spook who sounds like Peter Lorre from the cereal commercials. He spake unto me and lo verily did I tremble. Sayeth He "I give unto you a holy mission to spread the word unto the blogosphere," and into my head sprang various profundities for me to spread among those religions that have internet access. The message I am obligated to transmit is a personal message for the various faiths. I was told to tell you that each individual is on his or her honor to only read the part that is labeled as being for that persons religion. The message is tailored to the seperate faiths and reading the message intended for another faith would only confuse things. Remember, only read your section. He's watching.

I will start with what is my personally favorite religion, Buddhism.
God wanted me to tell you that you guys are OK in his view. The shaved head thing really looks a lot better on asians than it does on other people. Don't worry about those imbeciles who blow up your statues; the meek (and fecund) really will inherit the earth.

On to the majority religion in my country, Christianity. This catch-all term covers Protestants, Baptists, Lutherans, Pentacostals and other denominations who believe that Revelations is more important than the Beatitudes. The Lord wanted you to know that the Muslims think you are sissies. He says he will waive the Sixth Commandment if you promise to only kill them with conventional weapons (specifically, no nukes). Oh, I almost forgot, his son said abortion isn't murder but capital punishment is (his words, not mine).

For Islam, the saint who communicated with me (PBUH) wanted me to tell you that the Christians called you smelly like feet. Allah (PBUH) hates this as much as you do. Normally murder is abhorent to the eyes of Allah (PBUH), but if you promise to only kill Christians, and no other people, he will give you two extra Ornaments of gold and half a virgin (the good half) for every one you take out.

Catholics, God wants you to know that he realizes that a lot of you are in general less wealthy than some of the other ~~superstitious morons~~...I mean religions, so he said that there is no shame in using birth control. If you are having trouble feeding yourself, he said that he doesn't want you to bring more mouths to feed into the world. He feels that would be an extra burden and he doesn't want anyone to suffer because of him. Not every seed need be planted; some can be turned into a delicious protein-rich breakfast food.

New Age Emo Wicca Pagans, you are among Godess' favorite creations and she wanted you to know that reincarnation is real. As I was channelling the Yin Spirit I realized that she has a special plan for you. Your people have never caused any trouble so it would be unfair to give the Christians and Moslems special dispensations and not also give a gift to you. I now know that there is special body waiting for us in the next life. It could be a dolphin or an eagle or a majestic horse, but I can't wait to see mine. I bet you can't wait see yours either. Don't you just wish you could end this life now so you could get on with the next one? I sure do.

Jews, sorry he didn't say anything about you guys, and I forgot to ask.

Amish, JWs, quakers etc. God thinks you guys are doing a great job. Most of you are truly living closer to the teachings of Jesus than most of those in the so-called mainstream religions. He only has one complaint. He feels a little insulted that you don't think he could have come up with a solution as elegant and subtle as evolution by natural selection. Sure, he could have done it by the brute force of his omnipotence, but he doesn't need to show off. Give him some credit, sheesh.

Atheists, there are few selection pressures acting upon the human race to continue the process of evolution. Disease is slowly being conquered, and bio-tech is increasing our food supply. The only predators left are the ones we create ourselves and they are statistically insignificant as far as altering gene frequencies. About the only selection pressure left is war, and it doesn't appear to be going away anytime soon. Well, we can continue to send off our best and brightest to die for oil, but that won't help us evolve at all. But if we can get all the people who have the religion gene to kill each other (or themselves) then we would at least grow beyond the need for further wars. So encourage your religious neighbors to go off and die in a foreign land, but don't send your own kids. It may seem distasteful or ethically questionable, but remember the words they use to convince us to give up our freedom and accept corporate theocracy: It's for the children.

The Badger and the Mushroom

2007-01-21T08:01:00.000+06:00

This is not your normal musical production. It is really the study of the achetypes of human conflict that every other artistic endeavor has so far failed to attain. The badger is tormented by his love of mushrooms. But just when the story seems to be heading for a conclusion, the snake is introduced, bringing with him the existential crisis in a sort of encarnación of fear, as well as an unexpected plot twist.

Now for something completely different. Have you ever wanted to find a place where you can do anything? This is Zombocom.

Update

2007-01-20T09:19:00.000+06:00

Well, now I know what to think about the Aquatic Ape hypothesis. Gotta love the internet. I trusted you, David Attenborough!

Here's something that will save your neck.

Periodic links

2007-01-18T08:36:00.000+06:00

The first time I heard the Aquatic Ape hypothesis I thought that was interesting. Then I read what the scientists said and I had to defer to them. Now I don't know what to think.

I got a lump in my throat when I read this.

It's a good thing that they discovered that this was an actual condition just in time for them invent a pill to treat it.

If you are a man you need to watch this.

News flash! Countdown to Doomsday!

Evolution: It's Not Just For Pinkos Anymore

2007-01-14T23:16:00.000+06:00

click the picture.

Also check out the highly informative "God FAQ"

Imagine life without Chevy

2007-01-11T16:56:00.000+06:00

I need to visit the dentist. I have significant tooth decay. I also have a hernia, so I will probably wait until one or the other lands me in the hospital.

The last time I was at the dentist was about ten years ago. He explained to me what he was doing. He mixed the 2 parts of the epoxy and drilled out the tooth and he sanded it down. I mentioned that it seemed to me to be very similar to how one would fix rust on a car. He said "NO! It's nothing like that!" Sorry, I didn't mean to insult your expensive education by equating it to peasant labor.

Ten years ago I would have been thrilled to make what I'm making now, but it's a little tougher now. The student loans are garnishing my check and the IRS is waiting right behind them. I have lawyer bills and credit card bills thanks to my ex-wife (it's not Homos that are threatening the sanctity of marriage. It's spoiled princesses who think love is a weapon). When I listen to the debate over minimum wage, I am incredulous. What debate? If it's this tough for me, a single guy living in an apartment and making between 10 and 11 an hour, how are these families even surviving on minimum wage?

JFK was one of our better presidents; certainly better than the one we have now. But he did say one thing that I can't agree with. He said, "ask not what your country can do for you." Well. I understand the sentiment he was trying convey and I think it's a catchy slogan, but it set a bad precedent. Another great president said, "By the people, for the people". Thats right, they work for us; we don't work for them. A lot of people seem to be forgetting that. Ask yourself who could get more accomplished; a government without any citizens or citizens without any government.

Now GM is in trouble. Thats right, GM. Do you know anybody who has never driven a Chevy? They try to paint a rosy picture for the future, but I can tell they're worried. They already got rid of Oldsmobile. And guess what, it's because of the high cost of health care. The greedy doctors, lawyers and insurance companies are ruining it for everyone else. Well, if you are a doctor, lawyer or insurance guy, I'm sorry to paint you with a broad brush, but this is the internet after all. How will you maintain your life-style if everyone is too broke to afford your services?

You all know that I'm an atheist, but that doesn't mean I think that Jesus was not a smart guy. He said something along the lines of "what so ever you do to the least of my brothers, that you do unto me." I guess I missed the part where he said "thou shalt collect all forms of material wealth so that thou mayest place a jesus fish on thy Hummer." In fact I believe that is directly oppisite to what he said. A Hummer is bigger than a camel, so I don't think it's going to fit through the eye of a needle either.

If you are a doctor or lawyer and you drive an economy car, and you live near the 219 area code, and you believe in evolution, I want to talk to you.

Luddites

2006-12-30T07:26:00.000+06:00

I was at a stop today and they had the news on. Suddenly the "lady " of the house let out an ear-piercing shriek, and the walls of the living room vibrated with the echo. Apparantly, Michael Jordan is getting a divorce and this was definately the most important item of news today in that house. I thought, "if you think that's entertaining, I know about these things called books..."; what I said was, "I didn't know he was married". I never really thought about it one way or another. I guess I could have assumed that he was probably married, but it never occurred to me. I think only the husband heard me say that, because the woman was off on a rant. Somehow the topic changed and she said, and this is as close to a direct quote as my aged and abused memory cells are capable of, "And now theyr'e cloning our food! Thats whats making everybody so fat!"
Luckily for me, the rant was aimed at no one in particular, so a response from me was not required. Had it been, I think I might have stuttered a bit. I challenge, nay I double dare, anyone reading this to give me one good reason why cloning chickens is wrong. And by "good reason" I don't mean "because its wrong", nor do I mean "because god doesn't like it". Extra points if you explain how this makes you fat. You have been eating cloned foods for years, but now thanks to fear-mongering Fox, it's a big deal. It's OK if Monsanto grows fish-berries, but you're scared of cloning.
Didn't you ever wonder why all those strawberries are identical? Do you know what a clone is? If you've ever made a cutting off of your favorite rose bush, or tried to get roots on a piece of houseplant by sticking it in water, then you have willingly sold your soul for all eternity to Satan by participating in that unholy ritual of science, cloning. Fusking Luddites, talk about a knee-jerk reaction. I can almost read thier thoughts "umm, thats science, right? Scientist want kill babies. And Scientist call me monkey. Science bad." Well, I could rant about this for a long time, but instead I'm going to hurry. Much the same as I how hurried and got done at that stop. As I was leaving the lady said "have a blessed new year" and by the way she pronounced "Bless Ed" suddenly it all became clear to me. I didn't want to, but I had to say "you too".

Saving the world in three easy steps

2006-12-29T06:32:00.000+06:00

Whenever there is a pivotal event in historic events, only a handful of the people living through it realize it is important. I want to convince you that we are nearing one of those events and show you how to prevent screwing it up.

When I was a child, I thought America was the shining light for the rest of the world to follow into a new era. I thought, "Wow, if we're going to the moon now, by the twenty-first century it will just like the Jetsons!" I thought by the time I was forty we would have hotels on the moon. I thought we would have an entire city under the Pacific Ocean. I thought if America can go to the moon in just twenty short years after World War Two, then America can do anything.. I thought my robot maid would hand me my jet pack every morning.

Well, we have the internet.

Frankly, so far the twenty-first century doesn't seem much different from the sixties. The phones are smaller, but we're still flaunting our wealth by driving bigger and bigger cars while the poor gaze on in resentment. When they feel so frustrated and nobody will listen to them they throw a tomato at our Escalade, so we burn down his neighbors house ("sorry, you guys all look alike". It's deja vu all over again. Its been that way since the Cro-Mags moved down-river because the neanderthals were hanging around too much.

So what event am I talking about and how are we screwing it up? It is the transition into a planetary civilization. Ask yourself why no new oil refineries have been built since 1976. The companies know we are at peak oil production and they are scared. Once all the oil is gone we will be forced to realize that unless we want eternal war and strife, we must harness new forms of energy. This will require a global infrastructure. Now, we could achieve a planetary civilization by force; we could fight ever bigger wars until one power emerges to subjugate the rest of the world and build a kind of global infrastructure that way.

Or we could go to Mars.

Hear me out.

Mars is on the door-step of undreamed-of wealth; the asteroids. From a base on Mars we send out miners to extract metals to ship back to Earth. And then we could hog all that wealth in the hands of an elite few. Just kidding. All that wealth won't do us any good if we are not around to enjoy it.

Odds are it's only a matter of time before something happens that could threaten all life on the planet. Remember that planetary civilization I was talking about? The one with the global infrastructure? We would need it to survive in the event of an imminent bolide impact. And having some humans somewhere else would mean that if we blew up the planet ourselves, at least some of us might survive.

We still have the problem of the poor gazing on in resentment. I can hear them now, "first they use all the oil in the world to make plastic bags to choke turtles and smog to choke birds, and they tell us not to do the same thing? And now they use up what little we have left to go to a place to make themselves even richer?" Poor deluded peasants, always whining about something. Shall we squash them under the thumb of subjugation?

A civilization where the slaves toil to make the elite wealthier is one that can never become a planetary civilization. It would be a step backwards to a new dark-age, where the waitresses and cab-drivers lived or died at the whim of some feudalistic corporation. It's a small step from mercenary to corporate contractor, and it's a small step from corporate contractor to corporate army, followed closely by corporate war. If your business is war you don't fight to win, you fight to keep fighting.

There is a lot of work to be done; enough for the whole planet. Suppose the hidden eco-system of microbes extending underground is necessary for the prolonged survival of all life to colonize another planet. That's an example of the kind of question that needs to be asked, and a project of the magnitude of supporting a colony on Mars would increase the economy of the entire planet and the waitresses and cab-drivers would be a little less inclined to gaze on in resentment.

So to recap:

1. educate the masses
2. develop a global infrastructure
3. mine the asteroids
result= everybody is happy and America is once again the shining light leading the rest of the world into a new era

Or

1. subjugate the masses
2. return to a feudal society
3. corporate armies
result= eternal conflict or annihilation

These people called "creationists" say we should just kick back, do nothing, and wait for god to come back. How apathetic. Creationism is disrespectful to our entire phylogeny. All of us are descended from millions of generations of ancestors who were successful at being fruitful and multiplying. By denying the science, it's like saying your grandpa is unimportant. Such 15th century thinking has no place in a century where most of us know the world isn't flat. Religions are quaint cultural customs and an excuse for family reunions; they're not worth fighting over, and they're not worth letting the planet go to crap over. It's in our intinct to want a new land to colonize and if we don't find somewhere else to go to multiply, we won't be very fruitful.

Happy Holidays

2006-11-26T11:10:00.000+06:00

I'll probabaly be sick of this video by christmas, but it sounds good now.

And here is your weekly dose of Dawkins

Turn off that TV

2006-11-25T01:27:00.000+06:00

Here's some good advice for the gift giving season.

Have some free music.

Another interesting science link.

Another blog kinda like this one only better.

The ten worst science books.

If you think lectures are boring, then don't click this.

Well, if you watched that, your'e probably in need of some mindless entertainment.

Where else are you going to find this stuff?

Links for both of you

2006-11-22T06:55:00.000+06:00

Come on, I know there is more than two or three of you reading this. If you won't comment, pass the link on to somebody who will. But be careful to whom you give it; I don't tolerate trolls. And please don't post it somewhere that will cause me much spam.

I don't know about you, but I hate traffic jams. Show this link to all of your friends and maybe we can eliminate them (yea, right)

I found this deep in the darkest reaches of my favorites. I think I may have found it back in the days of Web-tv.

You all must know by now that I love reading Richard Dawkins. But did you know I had a severe crush on this lady when I was a kid? While the other kids were watching "Charlies Angels" or "Three's Company", I was watching PBS.

Speaking of scientists, here is another big hero of mine. Alas, why did I not finish college. Don't make fun of his name.

If you read all that, you need some entertainment now. Here is the website of one of the funniest b3tans. What is B3ta, you say? Don't ever let me hear you say that again.

There is an old saying: When fighting bare-handed, beware of the young man. When fighting with weapons, beware of the old man.

I hate nazis (Jello fan, you know), but this website is mildly interesting if you're not afraid to get the cookies on your machine.

â€œOnly Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itselfâ€�

2006-11-14T06:50:00.000+06:00

There are many things to fear in this modern age. Just ask anyone from Fox News. You can be afraid of crime. You can be afraid of homosexuals. You might be afraid of violent video games. You may be afraid of television. You can fear the devil or maybe corruption. You're afraid some terrorist will blow up Dumass, Tx. Some people are afraid of music . Don't forget to fear the internet. Maybe a zombie F.D.R. will rise up to beat you over the head with a slogan, and you could be afraid you deserve it. I personally am afraid of stupidity. But there is really only one thing to fear: The Evil Athiest Conspiracy.

witty title

2006-10-31T06:42:00.000+06:00

Other than paying for second sight at the vampire game , I've never bought a video game in my life. This game is about to change all that.

Want to stop this from happening? Take action.

A real hero.

I thought we'd be riding in jetsons cars by now. Well at least we're getting there.

I was waiting for this to happen.

And speaking of the good doctor, there's a fresh video up at his website Get it while its hot.

BEST SONG EVER!

2006-10-24T09:56:00.000+06:00

Hooray for the first amendment! (not safe for work, as they say)

This one isn't bad either.

what I've been up to this week

2006-10-21T09:22:00.000+06:00

There are no hidden links in this post. I did not find an incredibly useful program. And if I did , I wouldn't post it. Honest.

A new movie that might be good; highlander meets 2001 with a lttle lifetime channel thrown in.

Another motorhead video. Really. Motorhead. I promise.

africa cam
more cams

My first posting on b3ta

Books I am reading right now:
Bathroom book
Downtime at work book (see picture)

some vids of big swords(by request)

I
II
III
IV
V
VI
VII

To my black brothers and sisters

2006-10-21T09:21:00.000+06:00

I hate to be the one to tell you, but nobody else will. The Man has taken the teeth out of your music and replaced them with plastic vampire fangs. Back in the sixties and seventies, black musicians had the courage to speak out about current issues. They played a big part in the cultural upheaval that included the civil rights movement and the peace movement.
Todays artists are too worried about losing their recording contracts to actually rock the boat. Instead, they give you safe government approved rebellion in the form of gangsta rap or empty hip-hop. If you want it loud they make sure it goes nowhere so you don't get ideas. I know you enjoy your music, and I'm not trying to criticise, but don't you feel something is missing?
Don't get me wrong, some of the present day artists are excellent musicians and superb lyricists, but they are not allowed to spread their wings. Ask yourself if you think they would ever play this song on MTV or that "edgy" radio station that you listen to.

Now thats a worthy successor to the likes of Gil Scott-Heron. Malcom X would like that song. Maybe you don't agree with the sentiment behind the song, but you have to give them credit for not being afraid to write it.
Don't feel too bad, they did the same thing to white music. Heavy metal has turned into a clown show and punk rock became emo-wimp rock. Its all part of the plan. They want us (me too) to spend all of our money on crappy pop music so that we can never get ahead. They want to throw us in jail if we dare to get a free preview on the internet. In reality they are afraid we won't buy the whole album once we find out there is only one good song on it. I'm telling you this for your own good, quit buying that crap. The next time you are sitting at a stop light and you want to scare some crackers with your sub-woofer, put on a political talk show. That will REALLY scare them.

latest links

2006-10-11T06:09:00.000+06:00

The sand game.

I don't like mondays.

Now I know why the price is right is so popular.

I hope we can convince penn and teller to run for president. Here they appeared on the View. Was I the only one who refused to watch the View after they said Imagine should be banned?

Trailer for a new film by Martin Scorsese about life in the streets.

If youtube is choppy, try again later or clear your cache.

titles are hard to think of when there is no particular theme

2006-10-01T05:00:00.000+06:00

Psychedelic psychedelicness.

Syd Barrett auction inside his home

wierd movie

incredible wooden robot

Micro-life game is thoroughly addicting.

Don't ask me why its called black hula .
Wikipedia is your friend.

Incredible paper art.

A cool motorhead video. And for you hardcore types the original.

This is the most realistic self-defence for women class I have ever seen. Look out tae-bo!

If anybody knows where I can get the album, let me know. In the meantime, heres a little number called "Stick a yellow ribbon on your SUV"

Muppets singing NWA's "Fuck tha Police". What more need I say?

Dont play this game if you are prone to brain explosions.

The best version of Risk to date.

Simply the best rap video ever.

What You Need to Believe to be a Republican, and why they deserve our pity.

The UN speech you didn't hear

2006-09-21T06:44:00.000+06:00

If only we had a president who speaks English as well as the President of Brazil. (no, not Venezuela)

Why watch TV?

2006-09-17T07:10:00.000+06:00

This game gets very hard after a bit

Science Toys You Can Make
With Your Kids

A nice java planet game

Chico and Harpo at the Keyboard

Exploding fireworks factory

A japanese Bjork clone, if your so inclined.

This could be the most frustrating thing in the world

Guess who was Governor when the Taleban came to Texas?

patience is a virtue

2006-09-09T06:51:00.000+06:00

but I'm becoming impatient waiting for someone to comment. Let me know you care.

Heres a nifty little cartoon about a japanese exterminator machine.

I would never play this game
, but I have a right to tell you about it.

A couple of free songs from Screamin Jay Hawkins

"Robots are everywhere and they eat old people's medicine for food."

What happens when you run a V12 with no exhaust.

My high score on this game
is 360.

your razor is watching you

TOP 20 Japanese Commercials.

links for friends, pity for enemies

2006-09-07T05:54:00.000+06:00

Got the urge to learn but can't afford college? Then maybe you should vote in november. In the meantime check out these podcasts from Purdue. I is getting more smarter.

Interesting articles from the JOURNAL OF DINOSAUR PALEONTOLOGY.

A weird japanese game show where the contestants have to come up with kabuki-style mime routines. My favorite is the story of the 47 ronin told with just footprints.

These brits honed their craft on B3TA, and now they have a production company. I can't remember if I found it in the B3TA newsletter or on 4RTHUR, B3TAs sister site.

Love Gord or fear Gord, but don't doubt Gord.

Mike Malloy got fired, Heres a petition to get him re-hired. I don't know if it will do any good, but...

newest links

2006-08-28T05:21:00.000+06:00

Even funnier than Penn Jillete, Harry Shearer has the funniest radio show on the internet. You know, the guy from the Simpsons
This would be good toilet reading if the computer fit in the bathroom: THE JAPANESE KAMIKAZE. Go to the homepage too.
Lots of stuff at the Chateau Bizarre. Thats how I found Madame Talbots, who has a good links page and so much more.
Guess I'm in a "goth" mood. Check out Gothic Rose Antiques for all your mad scientist fantasies.

Liquid explosives? Lets see what The Register has to say.
What do the terrorists really want?
If I hear the phrase "liberal media" one more time, I think I will snap. Only chickenhawk conservatives could be such PUSSIES!
Don't read that local yellow rag. Get your news straight from The Portal Of Evil.

OK, JUST STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!

2006-08-01T08:01:00.000+06:00

It was called the bronze age because that is when bronze was invented. If you've ever used a copper knife, you can see that a bronze one would be a big improvement.What would happen if you tried to run a modern restaurant with a bronze knife? Disaster. Then why do you insist on letting an ancient code dictate your entire way of life? Yes, mono-theism was a big improvement over animism, but we have steel knives now.

This whole thing has got to stop! Now it looks like World War Three is about to start and then you'll be happy, EH? Jesus is not coming back to take you to heaven, and even if he was I doubt he would be overjoyed that you turned the middle east into a slab of radioactive glass. "Oh," you say, " but He made this world for us to do with what we will." Yes, and I'm sure he was thinking of choking forests with SUVs and poisoning coral reefs with the run-off from golf courses. Oh, and killing people who believe in a different god (even though technically it is the same god), and they smell and they dress funny.

This may come as shock to some of you, but I assure you it is very true. You might not like it, but for the sake of the entire planet I beg you to at least consider it. Jesus was a man and god is no more real than the easter bunny or the tooth fairy. It's one of those little fibs we tell to kids when we don't feel like explaining everything. And to make matters worse, this lie has been perpetuated since the bronze age (see first paragraph).

So what do I suggest we do about the "terrorists"? I suggest the same thing that I suggest we do about ignorant Christians. Violence obviously does not work. They kill us. We get mad and kill them. They get mad and kill more of us and so on ad infinitum. Well, I personally am not opposed to christians and muslims killing each other. There are too many people on this planet and that seems like a good way to thin the herd. Unfortunately they want to involve all the rest of us.
No, we have to change ourselves first, then shame the muslims into behaving. Once we all realize that religion does more harm than good, then we can say "Haha, look at the silly muslims and jews fighting over there. Aren't they silly" They can't hate us because we're christians if we are not christians. And we wont hate them for being muslims if islam is reduced to a quaint cultural artifact.

Maybe you are an athiest like me. Get the ball rolling. Start at home. When your neighborhood Voodoo palace spells something wrong on the preachy sign out front, call them up and make them feel stupid. Go to a sermon and giggle. Sometimes they have a "FREE ROCK CONCERT", where they lock the kids in and won't let them go until they accept the holy spirit as thier personal saviour. What a great place to make a huge scene. Use your imagination, but don't do anything immoral. We are trying to teach by example, after all.

At the Permian-Triassic boundary, 90 to 95% of all species became extinct. It only took 50 million years for the eco-system to return to its full glory. Do you honestly believe that your ghost will be here in 50 million years to witness the re-emergence of intelligence.? You are either lying to yourself, or you're just lying.

At Last The Rant Is Done

2006-07-23T09:14:00.000+06:00

The Democrats and the Republicans basically have the same goal; economic victory. They differ only in their methods. While we are being fed the journalistic equivalent of baby food by the likes of Fox News, they are laughing at us for being so gullible and congratulating each other on a job well done.

They make laws that don't apply to themselves to feed the prison industrial complex. They start wars to line the pockets of war profiteers. (war profiteering is treason) As long as we are too busy watching "Friends", they are free to do whatever they want. They keep us poor and rape the planet, all the while convincing us that our biggest threat is terrorism.

NewsFlash- You are more likely to win the lottery than to be blown up by a terrorist. To keep that in perspective, you are more likely to be struck by lightning than to win the lottery.

What freedom will they emasculate next? Congress passed the Freedom of Information Act on July 4, 1966. Now they want to render it toothless in the name of "...a reasonable thing for any nation to do in the post-9-11 arena".

TERRORISTS! NINE ELEVEN! FEAR! IT'S FOR THE CHILDREN!

Who said "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself"? I bet 50% of you don't know.

What excuse do they give for this latest assault on liberty? "They don't need bombs anymore. They can hack in and tell the Hoover Dam to release the water." Why didn't I think of that?

So now all the soccer-cows will docilely put another ribbon shaped sticker on their Stupid Useless Vehicle. And all the baptist fundies will conveniently forget that "pride cometh before a fall". It is much easier to manipulate people when they don't realize they are being manipulated. Tell the soccer-cows that it's for the safety of your children. Tell the Christianists it's all part of Gods plan. Anyone who believes in invisible friends that live in the sky will believe anything.

Meanwhile they tax blank tapes and tell us listening to music on the internet is piracy, whilst the corruptable among them lust to obtain in postions of power so that they can manipulate (subconsciously, I'm sure) world events so that the prophecy will be self-fulfilled.

But I guess you can't hate the fundies. It's merely a symptom of a damaged planet. When you have a disease, you don't care what the motivation of the vector is. The Nazis wanted everyone to die except for the racially pure; the fundies think Jesus is coming back to destroy the world, and they want to give him a head start. In my opinion, they are about as different as dyssentary and shigella. If overpopuation is like a disease, then genocide is like severe vomiting and diarhea leading to acute dehydration. The problem with using warfare and genocide as a cure for overpopulation is the same as that for any medicine; it must be administered at the proper dosage and time, and who wants to be the one to decide that?

But what can we do instead of killing of large portions of populations? Well, since a majority of people seem to feel that they are not "complete" unless they procreate, a planned breeding program or other form of mild positive eugenics is considered distasteful, not to mention a logistical nightmare. So that limits our options.

As much as we'd like to believe otherwise, we are intimately connected to the rest of this bio-sphere. Soon we will develop sufficient technology and the motivation to settle other planets. This may be our only hope. Even then. we will need to take part of the food chain with us, at least until chemistry advances enough to the point where consuming life-forms becomes superfluous. I speculate that even at that stage, said chemistry still need fresh DNA from time to time.

We are running out of resources here and in space there are vast amounts of metals and hydrocarbons. We are not ready at all for the coming oil crash, but I doubt I will be able to convince our leaders that the last bit of petroleum would be better spent exploring space than filling up thier luxury SUVs. Thats why the blog is called the pre-game show. It's about to get very interesting.

Are there other options? Yes, but I will leave that as an exercise for the reader.

It's almost done

2006-06-26T08:41:00.000+06:00

watch this until the rant is finished

http://www.nyk.ch/e57/?id=22

I know!

2006-06-24T07:16:00.000+06:00

I promised you a rant. Well, what do you expect if nobody will comment. Its easy to log in and just comment. You can do it. Let me know I'm not wasting my time. If you're not here, you're missing out.

If one of you makes it to the next level in this game, give me a hint.

I like science, but I've always stayed away from physics because I suck at math. But this guy has a pretty good website. Check it out, I'm serious.

I know how to drive to France.

Whilst you are waiting for my rant...

2006-06-17T07:06:00.000+06:00

(edit: Actually listen to this.
first. It's Penn's new radio show)
Have a rant from my favorite Rock Star, Jello Biafra.
He says if you really supported the troops, you wouldn't allow them to Die for Oil, Sucker. By the way, he's in Chicago july third. If my boss is looking, I may need to leave early that day. You can come with if you want.

How not to get your ass kicked by the police.

Let's see some comments here. I know somebody is looking.

I R teh n00b!!!!!11!!

2006-06-16T08:19:00.000+06:00

Once I get better at blogging, I hope to be as interesting as this guy, but I'll never be as interesting as this guy.
I got a lot of good links from the first guy, like these case mods. And I found this cool link on the second guys blog

Would you click on this if I told you what it was?

Expect a rant sometime this weekend.

new movies

2006-06-15T08:07:00.000+06:00

I might actually watch the new superman movie someday. Here's a trailer 33 megs. Most of the movies I've seen were pre-internet, so thats good praise.
I was always more of a Marvel fan so I'll probably see Ghostrider first.

The Pre-Game Show

2006-06-11T07:30:00.000+06:00

No it's not about football; you'll figure it out as we go. This blog is for my friends who I'm sure are tired of all my unsolicited e-mails. Now they can just come here to see what unusual links I have come up with now. Oh, yea. Rants, too. Sometimes you just have to rant. Why do strippers play lame un-romantic music? If we wanted to hear that crap, we would be hanging out with the boys. Play something seductive like this great video. And you never know whats going to be on Memepool.

The Pre-Game Show

Alternative Medicine That Actually Works

Ending the Recession in One Easy Step

Bush Regime memorial

10 reasons

Happy Fourth, America

Music

Christian Love

Dear SUV driver

Chuck Norris Sucks

Science is the Answer

Happy Birthday Darwin!

A Message to Liberals

Bush Appointee Helps Troops!

Semi-Annual Game and Links Post

Family Wants Answers

Penn and Teller in 08

NEWS FLASH! Speedway Doesn't Have Cappuccino

We don't have an illegal immigrant problem

Home of the brave

A Plethora of Links

Villian or Victim?

Another game post

Great New Album for FREE!

Still no comments?

Why does no-one remember The Tubes

To my religious brethren and cistern

The Badger and the Mushroom

Update

Periodic links

Evolution: It's Not Just For Pinkos Anymore

Imagine life without Chevy

Luddites

Saving the world in three easy steps

Happy Holidays

Turn off that TV

Links for both of you

â€œOnly Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itselfâ€�

witty title

BEST SONG EVER!

what I've been up to this week

To my black brothers and sisters

latest links

titles are hard to think of when there is no particular theme

The UN speech you didn't hear

Why watch TV?

patience is a virtue

links for friends, pity for enemies

newest links

OK, JUST STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!

At Last The Rant Is Done

It's almost done

I know!

Whilst you are waiting for my rant...

I R teh n00b!!!!!11!!

new movies

More links for you

The Pre-Game Show